Like I've said in many post, I'm a new mommy. My son is just over a year old so yes I still consider that new! He is an absolute blessing. He funniest little boy I've ever spent time with. But as anyone that is, has been or will ever be a mom will know, it's not all cupcakes and rainbows. Motherhood is hard. Really hard sometimes. We read and read and study and google advice but at the end of the day we just do that best we can! A lot of us have no clue what we are doing and are scared to death, especially the first time that tiny soul looked up at you and wanted to eat!!! With your new life long title comes a lot of ups and downs. Unfortunatly, for some of us, the downs start early...as in 8 months pregnant early!! I'm talking about baby weight ladies.
Ahh baby weight: the one of many things that will make you have physically being pregnant. Now not all women have to deal with this. Some women (which many refer to in not so nice ways) gain the recommended 25lbs or less, never have anything that closely resembles a stretch mark and walk out of labor and delivery smiling wearing their size 4 Miss Me Jeans. I was NOT one of those. I gained a total of 64lbs while pregnant with my son, got stretch marks everywhere, (butt, thighs, tummy, underarms...you get the picture.) and had so much water retention two weeks after given birth I lived in my husbands t shirts and basketball shorts. It was horrible. I hated myself. I hated pictures. I hated mirrors. Ugh!! I tried desperately for months and months to lose any kind of weight. I weighed 225 (ugh) when my son was born. At approx. 3 months old I was down to 210 mostly from finally losing that water weight, sleepless nights and constant efforts to try to breast feed-long story. Like a lot of women I know I stayed there. I lost maybe 5-8 lbs and it would come right back. I could never lose it and keep it off. Not a single pound. I entered into a "Biggest Loser" contest at my fire department - and lost. I joined a gym and worked out every night for months - nothing. I tried every diet pill, supplement and natural remedy I could find (within my budget) - still nothing. I couldn't figure out what in the world was wrong. Finally I took a trip to my doctor. I wanted to get my thyroid tested and anything she thought could be the problem. Everything came back normal. It was clear to me that she could see the desperation in my eyes and wanted to help but couldn't. However, she did tell me something that gave me hope and has helped me more than she knows. We ALL know that during pregnancy a lot of thugs are going on inside your body. Hormones. Water retention. Your blood volume doubles. You're feeding two people. You're expanding in multiple directions at one. Not to mention literally growing a tiny life from nothing. She told me it can take 18 to 20 MONTHS for your body to get itself back normal. That's a really long time. She said some mothers have no problem bouncing back and some it can take almost 2 years after actually giving birth. And for those of us cursed with the inability to breast feed it takes longer. While i hated hearing that (my son was 6 months at the time) it also gave me comfort. That meant maybe I actually wasn't doing something wrong. My body just wast ready. My hormones, metabolism weren't working right still not to mention the newly added stresses of being a mommy. So her doctorly advice to me was - keep on keeping on. She said keep doing what I've dedicated myself to doing. Eventually my body WILL start losing the weight. So I have been doing just that. And let me tell you, it's hard!!! It's so so hard. It's hard to look at pictures o my husband and I before I got pregnant and thing "man, I know he wants that version of me back." Don't get me wrong. My husband loves me very much. He's never so much as even hinted anything about my weight or body but as a women I can't help but feel that way. I know some of you out there get that. Anyway, it's hard to try on clothes and take pictures now and yes, even go to the gym. It's a little embarrassing and intimidating. Who knew you had to be fit to work out at a gym lol. But it's all starting to change.
I've been trying to lose weight since October 2012. The good new here is I think my body is finally I ready to start getting back into shape!! To date I've lost Right at 31lbs since the day I gave birth. I still have 33 to go until I'm pre pregnancy. I know it's cliche to write this post days after starting the new year so I would like to make one thing clear. This is NOT a New Years Resolution. It's something I've been working at for over a year. The timeing of this post is just weird. Haha. Anyway, since September I've lost 16lbs. And I plan to keep that going.
So here is my plan:
Every Tuesday I'll post here my updated weight lost, cravings, any yummy meals I've found and any bad days I've had. I've learned along the way that staying on track is really difficult. Having someone to hold you accountable is really a good thing to have. Also, one thing to remember is every BODY is a different body. We are all made different. Different genes, metabolism blah blah blah so yes it's harder for some and not one thing ever works for everyone. So here we go.
Before I got pregnant I weighed 164lbs. I wasn't "skinny" but I was thin for my body. I'm 5'6". I have a longer core and shorter legs. I have (at the moment) 36 DDD breasts which weigh a lot in themselves. I also have a large amount of American Indian in me. Because of this I have, and will always have, a big butt and thick legs. All of the women in my family are this way. Now we aren't "fat" we are just thick. When I was in high school I was a size 0. I could count ribs but still had a big butt and legs. Think Kim K. She is a good example of my body type. And the other half of me is a mix of German and Irish. So I will never ever look like this...
And believe me I am PERFECTLY okay with that. I just want to feel good about myself.
When my son was about 3 months I weighed about 210. During that time and September of 2013 I went up and down. Around my birthday I decided to really try. I told myself I have two weeks. If after two weeks of really trying I still lost nothing if would try something different. From around September 20th to about October 8th I lost 12lbs!! I was really excited. So I kept at it and in total lost 16lbs by the middle of Novemeber. Then the holidays started. I did not gain anything during the holidays so I counted that as a good job! However, the holidays are over and I'm ready to start up again!! So here I am! I started again on Saturday and have lost one pound.
Every Tuesday I'll do a weigh in. Here in my timeline in review... (Some of it might not make since but I went up and down for a while.)
Feb 2012 - 164
Oct 2012 - 228
Jan 2013 - 210
Sept 2013 - 213
Oct 2013 - 201
Nov 2013 - 197
Jan 6 204 - 197.6
I will be posting pics of my scale but my scale broke sometime between yesterday morning and writing this which sucks but oh well. But for now I'm going to post a few pre pregnancy pics so you know what I'm working towards and some pictures of me when last week and yesterday.
One more thing I would like to touch on while I'm at it is my stretch marks. It's one of the major things you notice as different in these photos. Yes I have stretch marks. I gained a lot of weight really fast when I was pregnant. I actually gained MAYBE 5pounds total until I was 7 months pregnant, about 28 weeks. When I started gaining I didn't stop. I went into labor early with my son at 34 weeks but didn't deliever until 37 so yes he was a little early. Anyway, I gained 59lbs in less than 10 weeks!! So I stretched out fast. Not to mention my son was really big. He was over 10lbs when he was born at 37 weeks. He also gained slowly for the longest time. He went from 4 lbs in one OB visit to 8.2lbs in my next visit 2 weeks later! I had a weird pregnancy. So yes I have stretch marks. I have a lot of them. I lotioned and oiled my tummy and legs every single day when I was pregnant hoping not to get them but I did. My mother on the other hand is one of those that we talked about earlier. She gained weight but lost it all within two weeks of having me. She literally wore her jeans home. She has no stretch marks. I was the complete opposite. It sucks. So no it's not all genetics like we are told ladies. I hated my stretch marks for the longest time. They made me feel terrible about myself. I just wanted them gone. I wanted a tight tummy again. Well my skin is starting to tighten up. Most of my stretch marks have faded to the white color that they turn to but they're still there. Some still purple. But I have learned to except them. I've been moms who have stretch marks like me with tight tummies and barey visible stretch marks. The only difference, they have a 4 year old. So yea I don't love them but they are a part of it. They are my scares. They tell a story of what my body was put through and survived to tell about it. So they are okay. I'm okay with them. :)
I look forward to losing what I can and I thank all of you in advance for coming with me on the journey! Feeling good about yourself is one of the most important things you can do to feel beautiful inside and out. Since this blog is all about beauty, this is a perfect place to do this!!
Thanks everyone!! Stay Beautiful,